“Try this one,” my coach suggested, handing me the lightest weighted ball available for five upcoming rounds of wall ball in a 40-minute Crossfit ‘lite’ class I signed up for last week. The ball was made of leather, shaded black and red, and designed to be hurled from a squat position overhead to a designated marker on the wall 20 times. For five rounds. I looked up at the marker. “I’m supposed to get the ball up all the way up there?” I asked incredulously. “Just do your best! And this ball is only 6 kg!” I took the ball, noting that no one else had a red and black ball. “There’s no shame!” she implored. But of course, I was damned if I was going to stand out as the loser with the only red baby ball. “Gimme the 8 kg!” I insisted. At least it was grey. Less conspicuous. Made me feel a little better. Kinda like ordering the second-to-cheapest bottle of wine on the menu.

I made it through that class. Surviving 12 rounds of Tabata on the rowing machine, some Kettlebell sumo squats (with another second-to-lightest weight), and wobbly lunges to round it out. And came home feeling so much better for it. And that’s the thing with fitness. More often than not, I go into my workout, run, spin, yoga practice, somewhat grudgingly. Or totally grudgingly. But at age 55, with over three decades of showing up ready to sweat on a consistent basis, I know there’s no alternative. Let it go and the consequences are huge.

I’m not gonna write about those grim consequences (loss of muscle, declined stamina, weight gain, diabetes the list is endless). Rather, my strategies for keeping at it, and, even having a little fun:

Be willing to show up and suck

When I was first dabbling in yoga teaching, a seasoned teacher said if I ever wanted to build my classes, I needed to learn to embrace the suck. “It will pass!” she promised. It did, and I got to a level when some of my classes drew over 40 students. The advice has applied to anything I got better at. I ran faster and farther only by first wanting to drop and puke after one mile. I practiced yoga with more grace after first falling out of poses and thumping my way through sun salutations. My current journey into strength training is requiring me to say yes to the smallest weights on the rack and trusting that progress takes time. And a willingness to suck in the beginning.

It’s not always about me

Veteran’s Day is about our soldiers, and honoring their service to our country. I got invited to participate in a fitness challenge that initially, sounded awesome. 1000 box steps. Sure, why not? I signed up, donated to the cause, put it in my calendar. Then I woke up day of, and freaked. I’m gonna what?!? Step up on a 20″ box 1000 times without stopping? Just no. Until I thought about my veteran brother, husband, and a friend who’d had both his legs blown off in Afghanistan. And realized this challenge was not about me. I did it, and had a great time.

Example number two was running my first marathon. I’d never gone beyond a 10K, and at the time lived in the Pacific Northwest. Cold, wind, and rain would be a frequent training partner in the dark either before or after long work days. I knew it had to be more than me to stay motivated, so I joined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training, raising over $5000 and getting partnered with a leukemia sufferer to keep my long list of excuses at bay. I completed the Maui Marathon, with so much help from my new friend fighting leukemia and everyone kind enough to donate to my run.

Say yes to being a little freaked out

If you read some of my previous blog posts, you’ll notice I’m semi-homeless as our new home in a new town is under construction. Multiple leases, Airbnbs, storage units and not being able to find one of my seven yoga mats has made working out more challenging than ever. For a period of time I was running daily for convenience (I do know where my shoes are). Convenient, but my upper body was shrinking. Time to get strong. Without my home gym, and knowing I’d probably go straight to the treadmill in a standard gym, I joined a Crossfit gym. You know the one..resembling a garage with ropes and rings hanging from the ceiling, big ass tires, pull up bars and those wild sled things linebackers use. Was I scared? Um, yeah.

But I noticed they offered ‘lite’ classes free of tires and ropes, and gave it a shot. I’ve been at it 2x week for over a month and am seeing, and feeling results. And the best part is, I’m never bored.

Never, ever, make it about repenting

I’ve had my moment of polishing off half a bucket of animal cookies before bed, swearing I’ll work it off the next morning. Don’t do that. If you eat the cookies, get over it, and work out the next morning with zero regrets. Because working out with any sense of shame is a major bummer. I’ve learned that nutrition slips, lapses in workout consistency, is part of being human. And that the next time I show up, no matter the past, is a win. Back on the wagon and all..

Record it all: the plan, the victories, the struggles

I’ve tried the willy nilly approach. And usually end up wondering why it all feels so hard and the progress is so slow. That’s why I have an old school fitness planner. I record what I’m gonna do for the week each Sunday, and check it off as I go. I also record my goals, wins, and struggles, and reflect on that to inform the next week. Try it out. It works wonders!

So grab that baby wall ball and hurl it toward committing to a lifetime of fitness. Who cares what it looks like? It’s so worth it.